BS”D
Followup to my story of going to hear Shlomo Carlebach sing…
I want you to know, I want you to know, that all night, it was mamash a gevald, I couldn’t sleep all night thinking of all the holy brothers and sisters who were there when I went to see, you know, the one who is so holy, so special, the one and only heiliger Reb Shlomo.
Finally it is about five o clock in the morning, and I think to myself, I know what these Jews need who are so holy, so special, these great and holy tzaddikim who like to be kissed and hugged by the one and only, so holy, mamash a gevald Reb Shlomo…
I want you to know, I want you to know, do you know what it is when a holy brother, a holy sister, is missing a few screws? You know how hard it is to live, to be holy, to be a Yid when you are missing a few screws?
So the next morning, I say to myself, I want you to know, holy brothers and sisters, I am going to do a real tzedoko, a real good deed, to help these holy Yiddelach and Yiddenes…I am going to buy them all the screws they are missing.
But does anyone remember what it was like to buy screws in New York in 1990? This was 1990, and there weren’t any big hardware stores where you could get all the screws in the world, it was so hard, such a gevald, to try to buy all the screws in the world. There was no Home Depot, no Lowes, no nothing especially in New York.
So I go to Boro Park which is so holy and so many stores there are having holy screws, so holy the screws, every hardware store there is kosher from a different holy rabbi, and I go to the big one, it was maybe on 12th Avenue or Fort Hamilton Parkway, and I tell the man behind the counter, “Reb Yid, you have maybe lots of time? I need loads of screws and I’m not sure which ones”.
Now let me tell you, holy brothers and sisters, what happened next, mamash a gevald, so holy these Yidden who are missing so many screws, I thought the holy brother at the hardware store wants to help all these holy Yidden.
But you know, he asks me: “Tell me why you need so many screws and why you don’t know which ones?” And I tell him: “Such a gevald, mamash a gevald, I want you to know, last night I went to hear the holy Reb Shlomo, so holy, so special, and I see so many holy brothers and sisters missing so many screws, and I want to help them, and the holy Reb Shlomo is missing so many, mamash a gevald, more than anyone but still he sings, he dances, he kisses and hugs all these holy brothers and sisters like it is still 1968, you know what I mean, still 1968, 1969, 1970, all the peace signs they think the war in Vietnam is mamash still going on and now it’s already 1990, so special, so holy, so needing screws.’
And you know what he say to me? He say; “You mishiggener, get out of my store NOW! So many screws you want to buy, you know I don’t have that many and I never sell that many, mamash since I open the place ten years ago I don’t sell so many screws like is missing all those hippies and freaks! I sell them to you, for three months no one in all of Boro Park has no screws and you know how much is costing so many screws? You want to know? He tells me…three million dollars just for the special screws that is needing the heiliger Reb Shlomo alone, they are so holy, so special, they haven’t made such screws since 1956 when I was a boy and had to leave Beedapesht! A meshiggener bist di, get out of my shop! Now!
But he was not such a big man, and I am so much bigger, I stand there and still I say to him, you want I should tell you what I say to him, I say to him..let’s make a gescheft that is so holy, so special so I can help all these holy brothers and sisters….
So this is what I say to him, mamash a gevald, maybe you can give it to me on fifty years credit I pay you a dollar a day so I can help all these poor Yidden who are missing so many screws…
And let me tell you, it was such a gevald, so holy, so pure, what he says to me, that mamash I can’t repeat it even in Yiddish, even in holy Yiddish it was too holy…..maybe I tell you in Hungarian but I am not speaking Hungarian it is mamash too holy to speak Hungarian….