BS”D
Looking for a yeshiva in EY where your son will never goof around during sedra and where you never have to worry about him leaving?
Try Yeshivas Beis Asirim, the division of Yeshivas Maasiyahu for bochurim from chu”l.
Our easy admissions policy just requires your son to buy a bit of white powder or some esev hasodeh in Eretz Yisroel, and we’ll take him in for a full two year learning program.
Our rabbonim and dorm counselors include luminaries of practical learning who will show your son how to make back the cost of his ticket, and that’s all you’ll pay because our program provides free room and the safest dormitory in all of Eretz Yisroel. Since our dorm is locked at all times, you never have to worry about where your son is, and for a few cigarettes or some homemade wine the counselors will always let him use their cellphones to call you.
Present advisors to our program include HaRav Shlomo Benizri, and we proudly await the arrival of HaRav HaTzaddik Rav Elior Chen, an expert in discipline and remedial education.
To find out more about Yeshivas Beit Asirim, call our Head Dorm Counselor, Moshiko “Big Bad Moish” Hakolbishvili during daylight hours only or when his Rav doesn’t notice he has a cellphone.