LU I heard a version of the story which supports yours. In that version the bachur asked: “where’s my bashert” and the steipeler answered (in pain) “but you’ve met her and turned her down for some foolish reason”.
According to this version, there is no reason to assume the steipeler held much of the bashert concept. He could have simply been talking to the guy in his own language. What the steipeler actually tried to say is that the guy had made (and possibly would make) bad decisions. And that if he chooses not to marry nothing can help him.
I like this interpetation because it emphasizes the steipeler wisdom much more than the common one.