Reply To: Is there only one person whom you can successfully marry?

To answer the OP, I think that the concept of having a “bashert”, with which many people mean a perfect fit where they will always be gloriously happy and loving, is illusionary and can lead to dangerous imaginary thinking.

That sounds reasonable. Whether marriage to one’s bashert

can fail was not the question here, though – it was whether a

successful marriage is possible with any other person.

you shouldn’t be looking for someone on a lower level than you whom you

can bring up. You should be looking for someone who will help you grow.

But if that higher person follows the same logic,

then they won’t be looking for you!

[T]he tafkid of a wife married to a widower may be a slightly different tafkid than someone who is married to someone who was never married before or someone divorced. Likewise, the tafkid of someone married to someone divorced with kids is different.

What do you mean when you say “tafkid?”

“Although I meant my advice for your benefit, I realize I shouldn’t have bothered.”

You should’ve realized that from the get go! Even if I knew you in person, who gave you the right to criticize me? I wasn’t posting to you!

I don’t have the greatest of social graces, but this sounds

rather rude to me. (And this is a public forum, so anyone

has the right to respond relevantly to any post.)