The Gaon does not disagree with me. What he’s saying is that “??? ????? ?????? ????? ??????? ???? ???? ???????”. I am saying that the same fathers who push on to their sons a love of learning over gashmiyus have a much higher tendency to obsess over gashmiyus.
You know who you remind me of? A woman my wife knows. Her husband is in kollel full time, and she feels the constant need to remind everyone of it and how difficult her life is. My wife got annoyed at her once when she started a conversation with the implication that our family goes on vacation all the time (which she can’t do because she’s so poor and it’s hard, ya know?). So she retorted with “My husband uses all of his vacation time from work for Yom Tov, simchas, and visiting parents. Unlike yours, he doesn’t get the entire Chol HaMoed or Bein HaZmanim to spend with his family.”
It’s almost as if, I dunno, she feels like she has something she needs to prove to herself because she’s so uncertain about it. What do you think Joe?