Make sure your budget is realistic. I don’t mean evaluate it yourself.
Clearly you already think it’s realistic.
It might be time to talk with others who can honestly help you understand not just household expenses, but the needs of a woman.
Budgets that are not being followed may mean they’re not truthfully agreed upon.
An extremely tight unforgiving budget can feel like prison to a woman. She might feel the need for a haircut, makeup, a new skirt, and the budget you’ve set up may not give her at least some of the freedom she feels she needs to take care of herself.
A man’s assessment of a woman’s needs might be WAY off.
Loving her means giving her what she needs to feel good about herself, within reason.
It sounds like you need an outsider to help you figure out what “within reason” should mean.