Sparkly – I think what you are really asking is why is smoking tolerated in frum society? Why is there not more of an outcry against it and why do girls need to tolerate it and marry smokers against their will? It’s a nasty habit and most girls would prefer without.
It’s a good question and I don’t have a good answer for you. I wish Beis Yaakov girls would get together and protest against this encouraging each other to tell shadchanim that they refuse to go out with any guys who can’t prove that they have not smoked for at least the last six months. When guys see that smoking will cause them difficulties in getting married they’ll think twice (hopefully).
You should be zochei to a mentch that doesn’t smoke!