Oish..
Here we have our collective Mashiach (oopps, I meant Mashgiach) always close at hand to gauge, measure, examine, analyze our connection status, at all times, to HaShem. Thanks for the test. Now I know where I failed…
Jewish Source: I believe you’re most definitely correct. Living like a Jew ought to be like is a much harder, longer Nisayon. Billam was not able to – he was only able to request dying like a just person – ???? ???? ??? ?????. We Jew have a higher calling – to live like a Jew. To effect a Kiddush HaShem even at rest, leisure. ??? ?????? ?????? ?? ???. That’s something more sublime!!