Reply To: Going off the Derech

apushatayid-I’ll give you a perfect example. This week in Israel is Yom Ha-atzmaut. My charedi friend’s children want to go to the Park to see the fireworks. By itself, this may be no big deal. But there will be pritzut, music (which is forbidden now)etc etc. Should her kids go? How will they feel if she says no? How will they feel (in the long run) if she says yes?

In my opinion, she can lose either way. If she says no, they may feel they are losing out. After all, not everyone in their community is machmeer charedi, and her kids know some kids who are going. But if they do go, what will they see/hear? A bunch of other kids who are having fun, listening to music when they’re not supposed to, some girls not dressed properly. It puts safek and temptation into their observance, in my opinion. Unless a person is so insulated, both by having a large extended religious family, living in a community that is exactly like you, not to mention that they all have good self esteem, you have no guarantees that your kids will never be tempted to go off the derech. And even with those “guarantees”, it sometimes happens.

I suggested she make plans to get together with friends, if she can.