Reply To: Going off the Derech

interjection/livelovelaugh-when I talked about how my son’s clothes will affect him in our community, I was not condoning it. I was merely stating the fact. Whether it’s write or wrong is not the point, and the truth is that most people do judge a ‘book by its cover’, and a red shirt with jeans is not the acceptable ‘cover’ in our community. I will love my son no matter what, bc he is my son. I don’t care more about his clothes than I do about him, I care about how he is going to feel when people stare at him, or gossip behind his back. I care that once a person sees you a certain way, it’s very hard to change that perception. I care that he is making himself an outcast in his community, and that it will only cause him further animosity to anything Jewish. If he is struggling emotionally now, I’m afraid of the struggle he will create for himself should he fall deeper into this. And yes, I am afraid he might leave the derech of Torah, with all the consequences it entails, both in olam hazeh and olam haba.

LLL-why does it sound so horrible that there are restrictions? Doesn’t the Torah have restrictions? Don’t we have to stop at red lights and stop signs? Who said anything about not letting him go to college, or forcing him to learn all day? My concern is that he shouldn’t become a street boy, smoking, and anything else his chevra offers him, which could be drugs, alcohol and worse. I hear a lot of anger in your words, and assume you are probably still struggling with the negative experiences you may have had. Baruch Hashem, we have shalom bayis in our home. I am sorry for your negative experiences, I know that life can be gehennom for everyone involved if there is no peace in the home. Hopefully, you know that the negativity you felt on Shabbos had only to do with the conflict between your parents and not Shabbos itself. It’s unfortunate that you weren’t able to feel the peace and simcha connected to Shabbos, and had such a negative association with it. But hopefully now that you are older, you will be able to see things more correctly. Thanks for your comments