I agree with far east. Personally, im a single 23 yr old and i know i have no intention of living in a community of, and raising my children god willing in, a strict black and white community. That doesnt mean im not frum or dont want to be. I actually love being a frum jew. I try to follow halacha, be koveia ittim, etc…while also attempting to not judge others, be happy and enjoy the life god gave me. So too may it be with your son. He may never rejoin the black and white community. Things like alcohol, he’ll probably get over. I feel like there are two things going on here: the religious aspect and the regular teenage stuff. I gotta tell you, where i live there are plenty of white and black mesivta kids who ive heard cursing, and who drink and smoke. A lot of that is ”cool teenage stuff” that is unfortunately not isolated to the non- black and white community. That stuff, he’ll probably outgrow, as most of them do after driving their parents nuts for a bunch of years.. The negativity towards the black and white community, he may never outgrow. And I fully understand that it may break your heart at first, and i am sorry if that happens. However, the question is, how will you react if he raises a warm, frum family that is not black and white? Will you be resentful? Or will you accept them?
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