Reply To: Going off the Derech

mom12 and thehock- thanks for your perceptive input.

mom12-please give me more advice. What has helped you and what hasn’t. It’s so hard to watch him go out the door, not knowing where he is or when he’s coming home. Friday night, I asked him to please try to be home before midnight, but he wasn’t home until 2am. The anguish is so hard to bear. I can’t sleep, I watch the clock, and look out the window, hoping I’ll see him coming home. I do listen to him when he speaks, it’s just that he’s not home that much, and when he is,he’s on the computer.

How are things with your son now? I’m so sorry, you must also be suffering…

thehock-I agree with you that this thread has turned to one of ‘blame the parents’. There seems to be so much anger toward parents when kids decide to go OTD. The unfortunate thing is, that OTD kids assume that bc something negative happened to them in school, or in their life, religion is to blame. And the parents are ultimately responsible bc they put them into this ‘religious situation’ in the first place. However, they don’t realize, that if they had grown up secular, there are also negative experiences in school and in life. It has nothing to do with being religious. exlakewooder is right on ONE point. If I think that my belief system is based on fact (and I do), then it will be nearly impossible for me to make peace with my son’s choice.

I can’t respond right now to all the OTD members who want to vent their anger at me, perhaps thehock or some others can…