Reply To: Going off the Derech

RSRH-If I say that, in his head he’ll be thinkning, “Wow! My mother lets, I can stay out all night!!” And then next week he’ll tell me that he’s going to Ashdod for Shabbos with his chevra, and they’re sleeping at the beach! I understand/accept your point about neutralizing his victory, but I think his ‘requests’ will get more difficult for us to ‘neutralize’, and we’d be setting ourselves up for failure in the long run.

pcoz-not sure I’m understanding you, can you clarify? He did have a ‘plan’ early on in life, as much as any little kid can really have a plan. But somewhere along the way, he lost confidence in himself.

Aries2756-we could give him a key, but by locking him out, my husband wants to show him that he can’t just do whatever he wants, come home whenever he wants, and worry us all Shabbos. But I kind of agree with you, that I wouldn’t want him to find a ‘solution’, and then stay out more often… There’s really no good solution.

I will check back before Shabbos for any more advice. I wish everyone a Gut Shabbos…