From what you say, it doesn’t seem that your husband gets that your son is not 8 anymore. He no longer can be controlled with threats. Teenagers need to feel that they are being treated with respect. Even if you disagree with most/all of what he is doing and even if his actions are that of a child, if he feels you trust him to make decisions as an adult he will be more willing to make more mature decisions. He is in a lot of pain and his friends give him acceptance where your husband attempts to oust him.
Teenagers hate authority so as long as you fight with him to come back earlier, he will come back late. If you’d leave food out for him or something, he may be more motivated to come back earlier. He is allergic to control but he is not allergic to reason.
I remember one thing that actually put me on the same team as my parents. That’s not to say I changed myself but it got me to not be as showy in front of my siblings. I must have been 18 when my yeshivish, uber frum dad discovered some guy from Anytown, USA was sending me illicit substances. My dad pulled me over and told me (I cleaned the language, I hope), “we both know why it is this guy is willing to give this to you for free. We both know he ultimately plans to make you vulnerable so he can physically take advantage. When he does that, it will kill me because you’re cutting yourself off from the Torah world. But, if he continues sending you these substances, I will find out who he is and I will fly down to his city and I will break his legs because he is ruining your entire future as a human being.” I no longer felt like my parents only loved me if I represented their lifestyle to their friends. Hearing that made me recognize that many of their suffocating restrictions were actually there for my personal benefit rather than their own and, as much as I still hated my life and had no desire to be observant, at least I didn’t feel I had to stuff it in everyone’s face. Once I saw that they were willing to discuss reason, I was willing to discuss reason, and communication began to open. Because they never did put restrictions on me I was more open to little restrictions they placed on the home. No, I did not become religious at that time, but I did decide that they were not such terrible people.