Reply To: Going off the Derech

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#1181933
nossond
Member

Some pointers on this issue:

1) Don’t expect too much. Do your best and accept whatever was decreed from above.

2) It’s not about you. Take the anger of your lost dreams out of the picture. Sharing your hurt in a non threatening way, occasionally, may be ok, but be careful about that too, and don’t pour it on.

3) On the practical side, keep religion out of it. You don’t see eye to eye on this, and you need to accept that.

4) The goal of your interactions with him should be 99% about responsibility. Turned off from religion is one thing. Being an idiot is another.

5) You should try to inspire him about religion in a non threatening way.

6) If you love your child unconditionally, that is fine. If you don’t, that is also fine. Do not fake what you feel for what you don’t feel. It does not work. Your feelings are what they are. It is how you express them and deal with them that is more important.

Hope this helps.