Reply To: Going off the Derech

Imaof3-it’s true that my son is defiant, but it is specifically to us, not auhority in general. He is not argumentative nor disobedient with adults, on the contrary, he always behaved great in school. So I don’t think he has ODD, and he doesn’t have ADD. But probably, he has some features of both..,as does most of this generation.

pcoz-I don’t think he just went haywire. After thinking things through many times over, it does seem that having low self esteem played a part in his choice to go off. Just bc a person grows up in a normal home, doesn’t mean the child feels normal. Like I said before, my son went through a lot of emotional bullying in school at a time when he so desperately wanted to fit in. Probably a part of him never integrated bc of it, and now when he is expected to take the next step and go to yeshiva gedola, without the necessary self esteem, he just collapsed. There were other circumstances that led to it also, such as a bad chevra that constantly tried to pull him in (over years!), a yeshiva friend that betrayed him, a very strict RY who never gave him a good feeling, imperfect parents, etc Not to mention, an immature, extremely sensitive personality with a strong bend toward curiosity.