HTH, I just sent another email to Avi using another one of his email addresses. I forwarded the original to him. I will let you know when he answers.
In the mean time, W.O.W. your son is displaying typical depressive behavior, sleeping all day and functioning at night. His unacceptable comments are probably prompted by substances that he either ingested or inhaled. Either which has effected his brain and common sense. He cannot think straight and differentiate between right and wrong and is speaking “stupid speech” some of which obviously he will be sorry for later. He is neither logical or believable at this time he is just speaking junk. Do you really think that he would chas v’shalom want you to die? Could you imagine how much pain he would be in if the only people he can truly count on in this world were gone????? Do you think he himself would want to live another day if he didn’t have you there to catch him if he fell?
When your son returns from an all nighter what you see is really not your son, it is the shell of your son with the Yetzer hora controlling him and speaking for him. If he could speak for himself he would say “stay away from me so you won’t get hurt from me” but he can’t because he is NOT in control of himself or of his own actions. I know it looks like him, I know the words he speaks really hurt badly, but it is NOT him who is saying these things, it is the yetzer horah in him that wants you to turn your back on him. Try to picture it in your head almost like a “dibuk” took over your child. While you are fighting for your child’s neshoma there is a dibuk within taking control of him, making him do these horrible things and say these terribly hurtful things. Turn your back on this dibuk and walk away. Cry where he can’t see it. Take out your tehillim and get comfort from whichever source consoles you, but don’t by any means give in to this dibuk and yetzer horah.
Of course you don’t reward unacceptable behavior and you don’t have to accept it,but you don’t have to get into a battle of words or anything else with someone who is in no state to comprehend anything you say or how you feel. Doing so would be as useless as having a conversation with a wall. The only time you can attempt to speak to him is before he goes out, never when he returns.