Reply To: Going off the Derech

here to help-I already agree with the ideas behind TP, and am more worried about being able to follow through with what I believe will help my son, AND having my husband AGREE, than I am about getting side tracked in the CR. I do get chizuk here, and learn a lot from others’ stories, yet I am making TP the core approach for dealing with our son. The main problem now is putting into practice what we’ve been reading. While my husband agrees with everything “on paper”, putting it into action is more difficult. We are on page 228 of the manual, and speak with Avi every week. But my husband just won’t agree to buying him jeans (this is really a biggie), nor will he consider letting him wear them in the house (or in the neighborhood, for that matter). I’m just wondering, when you said that TP is the only thing that worked for you, what does that mean exactly? Did it just improve your relationship, or did they return to the derech?

aries2756-I agree that your suggestion would teach responsibility, but the bottom line is that I know very well he won’t get out of bed until early evening, so he will end up changing his own linen. My goal with him at this point is to give him the feeling that I care about him, and I don’t think I’ll be able to teach him anything (ie responsiblity, nor anything else) until he’s internalized this better.