Reply To: Going off the Derech

mom12-don’t be sorry about adding your 2 cents..I look forward to it!! You are right about the jeans, and my son did already buy a pair of jeans…but he wants more. The t-shirt is a disaster, it wasn’t just a photo, it had provocative words as well (the truth is, he doesn’t read English well, and I do believe that he didn’t even know what it said). It’s great your son will wear white polos, my son won’t wear anything white. But we did go together to the store, where he picked out some colored shirts that he liked. I do want to give TP my best shot, but the problem is, it’s too extreme and immediate for my husband, who I think needs time to get used to it.

I’m not against my son doing his own laundry. It’s just that now is a very sensitive time. I wouldn’t want to start teaching him things (which he could interpret as a kind of rejection-since I’ve been spoiling him all these years when he was learning late hours, doing everything for him). Believe me, somtimes I’m thinking he should not only do his laundry, but everyone else’s with all the free time that he has!! But the focus now is on restoring his connection to us, and feeling valued. Teaching responsibity can come once he’s healed…or via the army, which ever comes first:)