I have not read all 20 pages of this but I would like to add my opinion. I am a ger and recognize that the frum community is messed up. I don’t blame any OTD kids because it does not surprise me when a kid goes OTD. Seeing how rov frum people are I can’t understand why a kid would want to be frum. A kid is like a blank piece of paper and you can teach him anything, so if a love of Hashem and Torah is instilled in them from a young age and they see they have erlicher parents who do everything out of Love for Hashem and not just as a burden. A father who learns every extra second he has and who makes erlicher bruchos and not just a shuckel with the lips saying all 10 words in one breath, and talks about Hashem and a mother who dresses tzniusdik and not like rov “frum” women today with their long sheitelech and tight clothing with the skirt barely covering the knee. If I would have known more and had more experience with Frum people I would not had became a ger but now It is my belief in Hashem and Torah and wanting to do his rutzen that keeps me frum, not the frum community.
This is so true, it needs to be repeated. Children can tell a lie from a mile away. If you are honest, then your children will respect you. If not, how can you be surprised if they don’t? That is not to say that it is foolproof (and I don’t know specifics), but consider it a “segulah”.
Very well said.