Home › Forums › Family Matters › Going off the Derech › Reply To: Going off the Derech
Well i wasnt nearly as off and many other people who have answered similar kinds of posts sound like they were
.1) I was still in a bais yaakov and most of my friends were bais yaakov girls. That was one of the amazing aspects. I had friends who cheered me kn for thr tiniest things i did. From 9th grade till now, looking back i was no tzadiekes though they made me feel like i was the best person they knew. But b”H there were times when they were honest and harsh but its always different coming from a friend vs a parent.
2) i still was OPEN to hearing it…see i find amongst some of mu friends that they ask and challenge not bc they are looking for an amswer but because they want to prove it wrong. So when my teacher stTts answering they dont even listen of think about what shes saying. Many teens have some hashkafa problem but they dont neccasarily want to fix it=> the problem sort of valiadates them not doing it and if they do get it answered then they will have to stop.
So i wasnt scared of hearing the answers. That was another saving grace. My friend reccomended me a rav and i emailed him. My major “problem” was boys and not really a question if belief, as the guys i talked too. Youd be surprised how muh hashkafa they learnt from me. My rav sort of helped me through the whole stage. It was LONG i was on and off from elul through purim (with the main guys) and then till shvuos with another one who i just kept rationalizing as “doesnt count”
I wasnt scared to read the books and hear the speeches, but i know many people are, i thibk i posted this before but someone in school said “im afriad they are going to inspire me.” AFRAID!
And i just got so caught up in te shuirim and sforim and i sort of had less time for the movies and tv- no i didnt just stop it just wasnt a priority. And i eas thibkibg about it this elul and came to the conclusion if uts not a priorty and i can go so ling without it without noticing till im sick in bed and bored then what do i need it fir at all? And the music i stopped bc i was on my way home from a shuir and listening to music and it felt wrong to listen to this shtus right after such an amazing teshuva drasha so i had recorded the speech on my phone so i listened to it the whole subway ride and the next thing i knew i deleted my entire itune lubrary amd stared over…
Im not sure how the whole fire thing works bottom line, bc there were times i couldnt control my yetzer hara but its still in me now though i feel like the taayvos for all the past things it drove me to are gone…but then there are so many ither areas it tries tripping me up.
So i dont know and really it wont be something you can do.
My parents had little to do with it they just started to realize what i was doing now that i stopped…
I dont think this really helps since my situation is sooooo different but alll i want to say is that the yetzer hara can be defeated as long as theres a will inside to fight it…and u cant put the will inside your son he has to put it in himself
Have a restful Sukkos and you are so lucky to be in Eretz Yisroel for the yom tov!!!