One of Charedism greatest weaknesses (And one of its Greatest Strenghts as well) is its no compromise attitute.
It has served charedism greatly with that attitude, but in many cases it has hurt as well. Especially with OTD. Are you willing to compromise with your son. What if you are told banish him from the house and lose him perhaps forever. I have read many cases of OTD people who were banished from the house and the result was not positive. It seems those who were not banished did not return, but at least dont have as much a negative attitude as those who were banned.
Finally I am upset you are using the word “mourned” . There is a major news story around the NYC area about a 28 year old Korean Woman who has Terminal Brain Cancer and had a stroke about a month ago because of it that left her paralized from the neck down. She lost the will the live and was originally fighting her parents for the right to die. Her parents have spent the last year helping her with her chemo and the chemo did not work, And soon they will have her bury her daughter (In Korean Culture they feel she is their good luck charm) and when she dies they will feel all is lost, THEY ARE MOURNING. In the end your son will live, maybe not as a life as you want for him, but he is still there. These people wont be so lucky.