Reply To: Going off the Derech

ana mia-Interesting summary, but you got a few things wrong:

“He got bullied in school sometimes and the RY was also someone who was very tough on the boys but my friend didnt really do anything about it because he was sitting and learning so she figured thats the only thing that mattered and everything else would somehow solve itself”.

This is not true at all. We went to the school a number of times to complain to the Rebbe about what was going on. He actually threatened the class with expulsion, to any kid who would bother my son in the future. And he followed through on it. We also took my son to speech therapy, so that perhaps the kids would stop making fun of how he spoke. We also got him a mentor, and repeatedly told our son that we will gladly move him to another school if he wasn’t happy where he was. But my son never got close to his mentor, and he never wanted to switch schools.

“Additionally, he was very musically and artistically inclined but he never did any extra-curricular activities because well, boys like him have to learn torah for 12 hours a day, what does he need anything else for?”

He never wanted to go.

“they see how horrible the 16 year old is and how much pain he causes their parents so my friend decided that they definitely would not follow in his footsteps. so my friend thinks its ok for the other children to continue with their lives as is even though they are traumatized by the situation and refuses to put them into therapy or allow them to participate in extra-curricular activities”.

I never said that my other kids would DEFINITELY not follow their brother’s footsteps. What I said was that they see my son is not pleasant to them, and not happy himself, so that being like him isn’t very appealing. If you re-read my post, you will see that I wrote that in some ways, I am extremely worried for them.

And who’s REFUSING to put them into therapy, or send them for extra curricular activities? I think you are reading words that were never written.

“a lot of people have suggested so many things but she is not really receptive to anything”

Really? I can’t even respond to this. Off the top of my head, I can think of many posters whose advice I’ve valued and put into practice.