I think a dorm may work wonders for your older son (though he won’t change overnight, obviously) and I hope that he and you will find the right place. I mentioned ACE as a place to look into several months ago and there’s also KESHER which advertises on YWN as well as YESOD – an Ohr Somayach program. I know of an OTD boy in YESOD who is baruch Hashem doing very well there…
In terms of the situation with your other son, I was discussing the story with my husband who said that in E”Y you have to be very careful with a person like that man. Before going to the police you have to have the Rav on board or the community could end up turning against you and your family. Going to beis din is (hopefully) a very good idea and will (again hopefully) help your son to feel that something is being done.
To all of the naysayers – WOW has to deal with the reality of where she lives. Yes in the US we would not hesitate to report an assailant like that man to the cops, but in E”Y WOW has to play her cards right in order to garner community support against this man and not to let HIM make himself into a victim (which, by the way, is a more creative form of bullying ultimately).
WOW, may HKB”H continue to give you the strength to handle every twist and turn and may you have hatzlacha in this and every challenge.
Thinking of you from this side of the ocean…