Reply To: Going off the Derech

a mamin-thanks for asking. I wanted to respond sooner, but things were a bit busy. My son started a new school last week. He sleeps there, and comes home once (or twice a month?) So he was home this Shabbos, and I am still recovering from the emotional setback I seem to be in. He is still minimally communicative, so we know very little about the school, except from what other people tell us. He keeps us at arm’s length in everything he does, and I can’t ask too many questions, or he will get angry. I basically take my lead from him. He seemed happy when he came home, but at night, he still hangs out with the same chevra, and usually comes home moody and short tempered. We didn’t really get to spend too much time with him bc after being out really late at night, he then sleeps the whole day. I was really sad taking him back to the bus station, and couldn’t help but reminisce about the boy he used to be, he’s so different now, and although I love him no matter what, he lost his sweet, gentle nature. And he almost never smiles anymore. Instead, he’s now a tough kid, with a tough exterior, trying so hard to fit in with the street crowd. I’m so afraid for him, and wish there was a way to build up his self esteem so that he could leave this chevra.

Meanwhile, my husband found out from someone, that the main kid who used to really bully/tease my son in school, the ‘leader of the pack’ went on to a really good yeshiva, and is doing great… while his victim, my son, is a broken soul.