Dear Write or Wrong,
I am sorry to hear that your friends and neighbors are giving you looks and are making insensitive comments. I hope you have one or two close friends that are supportive to you, not just the coffee room.
As far as your second son applying to yeshiva, perhaps it would be best for him to go to a yeshiva that your older son was NOT in, so he could make a fresh start without living in the shadow of his older brother.
Continue to search for ways to be mechazaik yourself through this difficult tekufah! Be good to yourself. It is normal to go through ups and downs in our spirituality especially during tough times.
I hope you will share good news with us soon. hang in there!