To aries: As a fellow child of a holocaust survivor I can attest that the Kavod for your parents is so great that anyone who did not have that upbringing can not fathom it. Most kids of survivors were imbued with a desire to give their parents nachas after understanding what pain they suffered. The understanding was instinctive. Also the fellow love of a Jew is imbued deeply into our psyches. YOu can see that in today’s world, that pure love has become very rare, which may be one of the greatest underlying causes of the OTD phenomenon of today. When I was a child, the yeshivos accepted any Jewish kid who wanted to learn, and never looked at the parents or siblings or even their ability to pay tuition. A child wanted to learn Torah-no questions asked!
To all of the parents who are suffering from an OTD child: No one who is not experiencing this can fully comprehend the extent of the pain and suffering that resides in the heart of a parent, usually so much worse for the mother. This pain and suffering comes from the depths of a the love in a soul for a fellow Jew, and Hashem does not ignore it! Keep on davening, saying Tehillim, and hold your head up high. These neshomos are only temporarily yours, and no matter what their current “outer costume”, deep down they want a connection to unconditional love, that from your postings, all can see that you are giving them exactly that. One can only come to a love for Hashem and Torah when they first experience love from a parent. ANYONE who hurts you further and fuels your pain will have to answer to Hashem and I do not envy them!