Write or Wrong, on yom tov I had a chance to look at our local Jewish paper and I was reading about the young couple who were killed in a terrible car accident after Purim. A sweet young couple who were expecting their oldest son (he also nebach didn’t make it). How terrible their parents must have felt this Pesach sedar not to have the young couple with them, knowing that they will never be with them in this world.
My child was not with us for the sedarim. Am I happy about it? No, but I know that he/she is well and I do get a visit now and then.
Write or wrong, I know your heart is breaking but you must work on yourself to keep things in perspective and be there for your husband and other children and show your son who is OTD that you will always love him and he is always welcome in your home.