to write or wrong
I just noticed your post. I had a son who went off the derech 2 years ago, became a mechallel shabbos and basically slept all day and hung out all night…. we took him from therapist to therapist and he refused to open up.
One day I decided that I would spend every Friday with him. I took him to the Zoo, the planterium, Jewish museum, etc etc..
He would be totally silent and refused to communicate with me. It was very very uncomfortable as you can very much imagine.
He would smoke pot day and night!
One Friday, I decided that I couldnt take the silence anymore and i didnt want to go anywhere with him.
We used to leave around 9:00 Am every Friday for our trips.
This particular Friday, he suddenly texted me around 2:00 PM, (Im in the same house) and asked, are we going anywhere today? That’s when I knew I had him… and so we renewed our Friday Trips, even though it was very difficult for me to take off from work. On our trips I would put on the CD’s called “Carlebach Stories”, and he would tell me that these stories never happened, trying to get me into an argument, but I was thrilled since he started actually conversing with me…. and I told him, that he doesn’t have to believe the stories, its not Torah, but its entertainment, and so slowly we would start talking about Hashkafa, with him questioning the Existance of a Higher Being, and you cannot imagine the pain that I had, but he was talking, and i would validate what he said, and I would give him politely my answer.
Slowly but surely I asked him to come shabbos to shul, not to daven but for kiddush, for kugel etc… and he came…
I am a magid shiur in my shul, and you cannot imagine how I felt when he would show up to shul for kiddush with his open shirt to his navel, but when he showed up, I would run to him and put my arm around his shoulders and thank him for coming, eventhough I wanted to strangle him…
He then asked for a car, and I said I would lease him a brand new car on 2 conditions, A) that he passes a drug test. and b) that he doesnt drive the car on shabbos…
He waited 6 months took the drug test and passed and he got a car…
once he was off pot, I noticed small changes for the better every day
To make a long story short,
Today he learns in Israel day and night, he is a masmid and doesn’t even possess a Kosher phone. The only way I communicate with him, is when he borrows a phone every Friday to call me..
So be Strong, I had actually given up on him and withing 1 year, things did a 360 degree turn…
if you want to contact me, ill be happy to discuss in more detail what we did…
But don’t give up