Remedies depend a lot on the type of kid this is. Sometimes, you get very intelligent, independent minded kids who get turned off by all the dogma that is common today. They can be directed to the numerous people who encourage a broad minded Judaism: R’ Joseph Soloveitchik, R’ Samson Raphael Hirsch, R’ Yaakov Kamenetsky. Sorry no links
Some kids are not intellectually inclined. This doesn’t mean they are not intelligent, just that they don’t find themselves in books and ideas. They are people of action. This whole one-size-fits-all model of an entire childhood sitting at a desk destroys them as does the view that Judaism = learning and davening. Kids like this often need a parnassah that gives them a sense of purposefulness and independence. They also need a different kind of connection to Judaism, perhaps one that emphasizes the value of mitzvos, including chesed. Some find this in moving to Israel and being a part of the activity there in running a country. The key is action, not thought.
Some kids have been abused and need to work out the damage and regain their sense of dignity and worth. A good therapist can help there. Try ASCASupport.org for support groups.
Some kids are so wrapped up in drugs or general junk culture that they can’t think straight anymore. Usually Jewish kids have a special instinct that they aren’t going to do well in the long run like that and have a special strength to extricate themselves. Drugs have a powerful hold on the brain and body. Shmuel Gluck’s organization can help there – areivim I think it’s called.
Some kids just need a change of derech. The MO kid becomes more charedi. The charedi kid becomes MO. It would help if he knew that you were open to that.
Some kids struggle with mental illness that may or may not be in the genes. But a person can have a satisfying life even with mental illness. Like any illness they need to learn about it and work with it.
One of the really tricky things about the halacha is that it can be very difficult to work all of this out while single – not that a highly confused person can necessarily be successfully married. Forgive the bluntness here but the tivas and loneliness can really make a young person crazy where they can’t focus on anything but that. It’s a real Catch 22, a conundrum. But tying together the hope of getting married with getting one’s life on a track can be helpful.
I can’t imagine that giving him a chance to talk would hurt the situation. Main thing is not to argue with him, just let him talk and unburden his heart. He’s probably had people talking over him his whole life (not you, but plenty of others). Many young people never think about their future, so asking him about his future may spark the idea that he needs to think about and start working something out. And deep inside he wants to. Many people don’t even know that they are allowed to build their own vision for a life and to formulate their own thoughts about Judaism. Amazing things can happen when a person is allowed to think. Just ask him questions, not in a nagging way, not in a judging way, but in a way where you are interested in his point of view. Let him know that you want to help him. A mother’s love goes a long, long way.
If I read the prior posts correctly you are living in Israel. But you seem to be a natural English speaker so perhaps you are originally American. Was he raised partially in the USA? That can complicate matters some if he now finds himself in a very restrictive community.
There are many options and I have seen all kinds of kids go from OTD to frum. But I must stress that frum doesn’t mean masmid yeshiva man necessarily. Too many people have that picture, that the kid will turn himself around and never again look away from the Gemara. Frum means Shomer Shabbos with a connection to God. There are many forms of this. A white shirt is not obligatory.