Reply To: Going off the Derech

Thank-you all for your concern and advice regarding my son. Hard to believe that people are still following this painful saga of my life after all this time. What can I say? I am still hopeful that there will be a happy ending to this story. Yes, I heard of Rabbi Fishoff. He was recommended to me by one of the posters and we did speak a number of times. My husband and I were divided on how to deal with my son, so it didn’t work out for us. For Twisted Parenting to work, both parents have to be on board.

At this point, as much as I am hoping my son will be religious one day, the goal for us has changed. We want to see him healthy and successful in his life. Some things have improved, and some things have stayed the same. Overcoming the initial shock of all this was the most difficult. Now we have come to accept certain things and have adapted accordingly. We have ‘good’ days and ‘bad’ days which are mostly determined by his mood. He has still refused help, although he has accepted sporadic intervention.

Believe it or not, it’s still unclear to me as to why all this happened. Your points Observer 36 are pretty perceptive. You are right about certain things being unacceptable in the yeshivish world, and perhaps that is why my son won’t forgive anyone…including his parents for putting him there. Being that he is legally an adult, he needs to choose his direction in life. This is still pretty difficult for him, although he has made some great strides lately. We are cautiously optimistic.

Keep davening for him. Hashem can do anything.