“The most important thing for me is that he is a mentch. First, last and middle criteria.”
Gofish +1. Very true! I didn’t mention it: a) because I assumed it was obvious (although maybe I shouldn’t :)) and
b) it’s somewhat subjective since everyone will define “mentch” differently. I had friends who are considered wonderful people, but when I got to know them better, I discovered that they had some very difficult personality traits, and I would not consider them to be “mentchen” (or whatever the female equivalent is), and if I had a single brother, would definitely not set them up with him.
That’s why I find it is better to be more specific. If you ask a reference questions like, Does he have good middos? Is he smart? etc., of course they will say yes. I try to ask things like, “Is he sensitive?” “Is he of above-average intelligence?” (sometimes I tell them about myself before asking if the guy is smart so they can figure out what my definition of smart is).