Having issues with commitment does not mean a person does not WANT to get married.
It means a person MAY NOT be READY until they work through those issues WITH A THERAPIST. Many a well meaning person has tried to help their prospective mate to work through his/her fears. Only a competent therapist can effectively move the person forward.
Regarding the Rav, something sounds fishy. I have never heard of a rav refusing to speak to a person. The rav can say “I’m sorry, I’m not at liberty to disclose any information discussed with me” or something else. It sounds like he’s hiding behind his rav and refusing to give you his number (while stating the rav refused) because HE does not want you contacting the rav. It doesn’t matter what the reason is; him, you… what you need to know is that he shut the door. Even if it is about you, that doesn’t mean that others will have the same issue.
Most people we date are not going to be a source of information on the areas we need to improve upon. We have to be self reflecting enough to be able to recognize our shortcomings. If we lack this ability, it is our family, friends, or even a therapist who can offer some clarity.
Please, don’t spend another minute focusing on the past. It is only robbing you of your future.
You can opt to seek out and speak to his rav, but to what ending?
Nothing good can come from trying to convince someone to marry you. The rav doesn’t know you and could only share that one person’s perspective.
It sounds like the lack of other opportunities is causing you to focus on him; on the past.
Don’t let yourself get shackled by that.