“Point #2 he’s probably also right, technically. He’s saying HE cannot be accused of motzi shem ra if it’s not certain there’s a falsehood. (no, of course he is NOT PERMITTED, but he cannot be ACCUSED of motzi shem ra.) If your standards for motzi shem ra are that you have to know 100% that what is being told is true. Then how are you allowed to ask Shidduch reference questions such as is the boy bipolar. As the only one who would know that is beside the patient and perhaps his guardian is is a medical professional who will lose their license to practice if they reveal any medical information to anyone else. If you asked a neighbor if the boy has mental issues by your standards you would be guilty of motzi shem ra.”
Answer: A similar case to ours would be the following: Reuven asks Shimon to tell him about Levi. Shimon never met Levi, but Reuven knows Levi very well. The only thing that Shimon knows about Levi is what Reuven has told Shimon about Levi. The only thing that Reuven has ever told Shimon about Levi is that one day he was in a bad mood and another day he was in a good mood. So Reuven tells Shimon that Levi definitely has bipolar.
Yes, that is completely assur.