“The fact that you had it worded in an insulting way doesn’t change the halachah if it was not said that way.”
I’m not sure what you mean by that. Please explain.
“I agreed with you that it was worded poorly, but it should be obvious that it was speculation, not fact.”
Obvious or not, he stated it as a fact. The problem with his words is that they can lead her to think negatively of him. By stating it in this (incorrect) way, it is more likely to lead her to think negatively of him. Even when LH is allowed for toeles, it must be accurate and not exagerrated. Stating it as a fact rather than as a speculation is an exageration.
“I agreed with you that it was worded poorly,..”
When speaking Loshon Hora l’toeles, the wording is CRUCIAL. According to the Halachos of the conditions of something being l’toeles, it must be phrased a very particular way, and if it is not, it is assur.
“I think that depending in on the context, saying someone may not be intelligent may not be assur.”
Maybe, maybe not, I don’t know what context that would be. The point is that it is inherently a derogatory statement and t/f Loshon Hora unless the conditions of toeles are fulfilled.
Here, as well, it is inherently a derogatory statement and t/f it is LH and assur unless the conditions of toeles are fulfilled, which they weren’t as I explained in a previous post.
I think the main problem here is a certain mistake that many people make. Many people mistakenly assume that as long as there is a toeles, LH is muttar, and they don’t realize that there are many conditions for toeles that must be fulfilled in order for it to be muttar. Before a person can speak LH for toeles, he must make sure that he knows and applies the halachos of toeles.
I feel like I keep repeating myself. I would like to respectfully request that before anyone else responds, they first reread my previous post explaining why I don’t think the conditions of toeles were not fulfilled here and how they could have been fulfilled.