“PY, hitting a toddler teaches them to hit.”
SJS, didn’t you write in a different post that you had trouble with your older son hitting the baby? Where did he learn that? Truth is, toddlers hit. They push, and pull hair (something that my son just started doing, and believe me, I don’t pull his hair!), and pinch other kids when they’re frustrated, angry, or not getting their way. That’s just what kids do.
I am not an advocate of potching, but I do agree that sometimes it really is necessary. My kids are all different, therefore they need different means of discipline. My son, who is about a year younger than yours, knows not to go in the street without holding my hand, but he has gotten a potch or two (not hard at all, just enough that he cries because he’s insulted, not because it hurts) because you simply can’t reason with a two-year-old who REALLY wants to cross the street. I give him a light potch on his (well-padded) bottom and then we go straight inside. That’s it. Thirty seconds later he’s happily playing. And I’ve never seen him hit another child.
It does bother me when I see kids being smacked for not-so-grievous behavior, but I believe that sometimes, like when there is a real danger, it is necessary. I do it calmly, no yelling, and then we don’t talk about it afterwards. And it seems to work just fine.
Maybe your son is unusually well-behaved that you’ve never had to resort to a small potch. If so, lucky you! But you never know what your other kids will be like.
I was potched once in my life. My husband was potched twice. We both remember these occurrences quite clearly. Are we resentful? No. Were all of our siblings potched? Nope. It all depends on the kid and the situation.
Giving a light smack, with no anger, is not violence in my book.