DY – thank you, the voice of reason.
Lost1970 – I too have suffered greatly in my life, and I think it has increased my value of life, it has woken me out of my do-it-by-rote life and it has transformed me into someone I never would have been. I cannot say I am grateful for my pain, but I can certainly say I am trying to serve Hashem the best I can as the transformed person I am. I only say this to encourage you, we can channel our pain into a drive for growth. And if your ability to grow is by the millimeter, I assume, though I can’t possibly know, that Hashem will love each milimeter.