Lost1970: You may have been autistic then and it was only diagnosed now. You could have been acting out. Sometimes children who feel different for some reason may feel better by putting someone clearly different down. Maybe you were suffering then and still have work on healing your wounds.
It’s okay to feel remorse. It shows that you care. Remember that you can forgive yourself too.
I know someone who made fun of individuals who were gay, incessantly, when he was younger. He learned that people are people and now is kinder. It was his teshuvah. Hashem did not turn him gay.
I learned dialectical thinking recently, and how to use dialectical statements. Two opposing statements in one sentence. This flower is both medicinal and toxic.
This situation where you once teased individuals with Autism and then discovered that you have Autism both brought you feelings of remorse for past behaviors and now has given you far more compassion.
Does that help any?