This is Mrs. Crane and I’m pretending I’m not home.
I wish you pesky little kids would just leave me alone.
I know you called to say at being cruel I’m number one,
or to whine about your homework, or to cry ’cause school’s no fun.
So, to answer all your questions: No, I do not think I’m cruel.
Yes, you have to do your homework. No, you can’t have fun at school.
And parents, you’re no better ’cause you’re driving me insane.
If you’ve raised a really rotten kid, don’t call me to complain.
I don’t care if you think I’m mean, or dumb, or just a bore.
So, when you hear the beep, hang-up, and don’t call anymore.