Damoshe, imagine if I told you that in 5 years from now, all your loans would be paid off and that this year, you would have enough money to be able to pay a lower tuition that the school would allow?
Would you then still feel so stressed? Probably not as much, (although there are also other pressures like too much to do in too little time).
Obviously, I can’t tell you the above, only Hashem could, but isn’t that what BITACHON IS? to TRUST IN HIM! to feel SECURE that all will be okay and work out!
I am not preaching. I am trying to explain to you what I believe
is part of the challenge in life. It is HARD to have Bitachon. It is a daily test to not think about and not worry about tom. but do our hishtadlus and let Hashem take care of it.
You are not the only one with this problem. There are lots of Jewish head of households worrying about how they will be able to pay their tuition, their rent, for food…
You have a lot on your shoulders ALONG WITH THE STRESS OF MONEY, and it too much to bear. But, you could do it along with others who are struggling just like you.
While we live paycheck to paycheck, and I do not have loans to pay off, I also do not own a home… In addition, for personal reasons, 95% of household responsibilities, cleaning, schoolwork, cooking.. as well as working full time, falls on my shoulders.
I also have a boss that just adds to the pressure which makes me nervous that I will lose my job. I also get no support from parents or sibilings just more pressure and “things that I must do for them”.
I also have to get up at around 5 am and do not get to sleep until very late. I hardly have time to take care of myself and just recently had to try to squeeze in time to go to the doctor because of an emergency medical condition that developed inside me. It got worse because I could not get off work right away (otherwise I am in danger of losing my job) and had to push off going to the doctor.
The only way I can get through life and try not to be stressed is to work on my Bitachon. I try to not think about my future like How will I be able to pay my bills? How will I be able to continue like this? What if I get sick and have to take off from work, I could lose my job as they are very strict!? etc.
It is not easy to do, but I believe this is the only way. I do not believe that any therapist can take away your stress unless they go through exercises that try to train you to not worry but to rely and trust that Hashem will take care of the rest (after you do hishtadlus).
Again, I am not lecturing you or giving you mussar; I am just sharing with you what I believe is the only way to deal with the stresses of life. I believe that everyone has challenges that stress them, although most people do not divulge what is really going on in their lives.
Please let me know what you think.