Reply To: Shidduchim and overweight girls

Thank you everyone for your honest and helpful feedback! To the mother of the girl whose overweight and only gets “interesting” shidduchim redt: Firstly, I really feel for you! I am not in shidduchim yet, but can imagine that it’s hard. It’s so unfortunate that you’re being redt “interesting” people for her. I don’t know why some of the boys are shallow- as someone else said, but I feel like we all have to get our priorities straight! Yes, a girl needs to look attractive and do everything she can, but at the end of the day, is the girl only her weight?? Why are we being defined by our looks and weight? I think our priorities should be more focused on the girl herself. Does she have good middos- Yiras Shamayim, kind, compassionate, sensitive… Those are the 1st qualities we should all be looking for! Those qualities will determine what kind of wife and mother she will be. Will she be able to communicate with her husband and kids after a long day of school/work? Will she be able to be sensitive to the needs of her husbands and children? Can she build a Torah home? Does the fact that a girl is overweight prove that she can’t be a good wife or mother?? NO!!!! (of course hishtadlus is needed) My point is, fat or skinny will NOT determine what kind of wife and mother the girl will be! Those are all externals. We need to dig and look beyond the surface and see what’s inside her- her middos… To me, that’s the #1 criteria for shidduchim.

Iy”H, we should only hear Simchas!