“I think a fourth date is way too early to be meeting his kids,”
I just asked that on the fourth date you (Lavender) ask if you can meet the children. If your boyfriend picks up his cell phone and calls his ex and she allows you to come over immediately. You know he is on very good terms with his ex. What is more likely is that you will meet them the next time he has custody of them.
While the boyfriend’s decision to remarry is up to him, Lavender’s decision needs to take into consideration the following factors:
A)Child Support & Alimony- Before agreeing to marry him you must know how much he owes not only for this but for any other debts he may have. As even with your income the family maybe forced into bankruptcy and you will be obligated to pay whatever the court ordered even after your divorced. So you need to resolve this before consider marriage.
B) Children & Ex-wife- Having a good relationship should you marry him, is a deal breaker as they can make your life a living hell. Even starting off on good terms as the kids become tanagers they will become more difficult to raise. The ex can be an ally or your worst enemy and as long as she has custody of his kids she will remain connected to the family.
Failure to resolve these factors before deciding to marry is a recipe for disaster.