Lenny, you are a blast from the past if you think that therapy is simply lying on a couch and venting. You and your wife have very old, long-standing problems with communication and solving your problems and other issues that you have not really mentioned but I am pretty sure exist. The purpose of therapy is to help you to understand how your old ways of dealing with things have not worked and to help you develop skills that will help you with future communications,with your wife and with other people as well. Individual therapy can help you in ways you don’t seem to understand. I would suggest you follow Mod-29’s recommendation and jump into therapy even if it is just to show your wife that you are working on your personal areas and are not forcing her into things she is not ready for yet. I believe that R’ Yisroel Salanter said that the only person in the world you can change is yourself. If you simply expect to change her mind about whether the two of you should stay married without doing some work yourself, you will probably not succeed. Show her that you’re serious about your end of things.
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