Reply To: Researching potential shidduchim?

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Lilmod Ulelamaid
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Person1: Some examples I can think of off-hand:

1. A divorced guy whose wife divorced him because of physical abuse.

2. A guy who was bi-polar

3. A guy who was on medication for depression

4-6. Two or three cases where the reference/Rav (same Rav all 3 times) didn’t specify what the issue was since he felt that halachically he wasn’t allowed to and it wasn’t necessary – he just told me the guy wasn’t for me. I think that in one or two of these cases, this was after I asked if the guy had any problems and after the Rav asked me to tell him about myself (since he didn’t know me so he had to first make sure that I’m normal and that someone who has serious issues wouldn’t be for me).

In the third case, when I mentioned the guy’s name, the Rav got very concerned and kept asking me if I had gone out with the guy yet and if he had my phone number (I hadn’t and he didn’t). Apparently, the guy had serious issues and there had been at least one instance in which he went out with a girl who broke up with him and he kept harrassing her.

7. There was a divorced guy years ago whose reference told me there were three reasons he was divorced. I no longer remember all three of the reasons, but one was that he was self-centered, and I think the rest were worse.

Those all the ones I can think of off-hand. Does that answer your question?