Wife: Why have u been reading Our marriage certificate for an hour?
Husband: i was looking for the expiration date!
Politicians and diapers need changing regularly.
Both for the same reason.
Three old men are at the doctor for a memory test.
The doctor says to the first old man, “What is three times three?”
“274” was his reply.
The doctor worriedly says to the second man, “It’s your turn. What is three times three?”
“Tuesday” replies the second man.
The doctor sadly says to the third man, “Okay, your turn. What’s three times three”?
“Nine” says the third man.
“That’s great!” exclaims the doctor. “How did you get that”?
“Jeez, Doc, it’s pretty simple,” says the third man. “I just subtracted 274 from Tuesday.”