Being Real:
It sounds like your primary issue is the amount of time and
effort the system requires you to put in just to be able to find
out – within a few minutes of meeting the girl – that you’re
definitely not interested in her. Also, time and effort is being
expended by others to research and set up these shidduchim.
Speed-dating sessions, you presumably argue, would allow you
(and, of course, everyone else in shidduchim)
to eliminate such “mismatches” and avoid the time spent on
them, thus rendering the entire system more efficient.
It bears thinking about. I’m sure many would say that people
would not be given enough of a chance by such a system,
being rejected too quickly (and, by extension, that you
are deciding too quickly when you reject your shidduchim).
(This has been argued even about full-length dates:
"Never go out once / it's a basic rule
Zain tatteh hut gelt / gai arois noch a mool
Vus vet zain oib di vilst nisht gain?
Di vest blaiben gantze leben alain
Gai shoin shnell / ich gai dir geiben a brucha
Chasunah hobben / mach a groise mishpucha
This is the point we're tryin'a tell you
That making a shidduch is a hard thing to do"
"Shidduch Date" - Black Hattitude :)
Wow, it's been nearly 20 years since that album's release.)
More seriously, though, I’m sure many girls and boys would
not be comfortable with the idea of such a situation, or in it.
Additionally, people would not be motivated to travel
long distances just to speed-date, so if the entire system
changed, many shidduchim would be pre-empted.
Also see the magazine article excerpt in my next post.
Side note: Maybe you could request shorter dates,
if the long (first?) dates annoy you even when you
don’t decide after 5 minutes that she’s not for you.