As a shadchan and someone who is married, in my humble opinion, an emotional connection can be made before marriage (and preferably should be made) but only to a certain extent. A deep emotional connection, as was said before can only be made when one goes through the good and bad things in life together and works as a team or when one spouse is gong through a hard time and the other learns what it takes to calm them down or build them up.
How does one build an emotional connection of some kind while dating? If a couple goes out a few times and after going through the usual shallow conversation, starts talking about their feelings, their thoughts for the future, their goals in life, what type of qualities impress and/or repulse them, past experiences that gave them hope, discouraged them,saddened them or changed their life. It seems that there are singles ‘who don’t know how to go the next level” and can’t get past the quality of conversations one has with the stranger at the bus stop. Eventually the dates become stale and the relationship dies out when this level can’t be reached. But I feel it’s really necessary to ‘get there” before marriage so the rest of the emotional connection can easily come after marriage.