Dear Benignuman and Rabbeinu Sam,
Thank you for your responses. All of these lumdishe machlokot are well known, whether our chupah is nisuin or not, etc… I always try to encourage the chosson to meet the kallah halfway down the aisle,take her hand, and lead her to the chupah. Most chasanim look at me like I am crazy. Of course, this lovely but rarely enacted minhag is an offshoot of the Chupas Main done in Germany.
After the chupah,I definitely encourage the choson to take his bride’s hand, they are married after all.(I think it’s wonderful to see husbands and their wives hold hands in public also,as I and my wife do, but that’s another issue)
I’ll mention that many sefardim do not have yichud at the wedding (shitat HaRan and others, as you mentioned)
heavily edited