Reply To: Confusing halacha, minhag, chumra and shtus*

“mixing in “feel good” actions with halachos (lighting a candle to connect to someone) can be very serious and I think that is what the rebbetzin responded to. knowing it was not your intent and where you were holding may have made it difficult to digest and explain.” (Syag Lchochma)

Syag Lchochma: Thank you thank you 🙂

I appreciate how you offered the view with respect to the rebbetzin’s perspective.

Yes I def agree. I see that now. If she didn’t care about my neshamah then she didn’t have to say anything.

Understandable. In my book, the extra candles was a “feel good” thing. So I can see how she was offering me that my actions were playing with fire in the reality of “Torah.” Lighting close to a dozen candles wasn’t something that I wanted to keep up with for the rest of my life, let alone every Shabbos in the near future.

I guess I was playing with fire and didn’t know it. It was her job to set me straight.

My intention was not to add to Torah, nor to take on the responsibility of an extra practice established by an oath. So I have to thank her for this. It’s long overdue. I didn’t judge her favorably.

Thanks SL for showing me a better way to see it 🙂