“One should try to keep away the electronic toys first and worry about the lego’s and tinker toys later, Taking them all away and making the kid take out a sefer instead may backfire”
I think that all or most Poskim say that they are not a problem for kids. I am sure that no one says that you have to take it away from a kid (certainly not a kid who is young enough that “it will backfire”).
I agree with your point though, and it is a very important point. When taking away something from a kid on Shabbos, you have to be very careful how it is done.
I once read an article in which someone said that instead of saying, “we don’t do x on Shabbos”, you should say, “we can do x on sunday”.
I disagree with that, but I agree that you should try to phrase things positively. You should say, “We do Y & Z on Shabbos”.